An Imperfect Perfection

Alot of things have been going on lately and its just been gettting on my nerves. I know I’m not normally one to blog but I just need to get this out. Ever since I could remember I was always the one that was made fun of and I’ll never understand why it just dosen’t make sence. I’ve also been under alot of stress lately with everything oging in school and I guess im at my breaking point and I just can’t take it anymore. About a month ago I finished my server book in wireless and I can honestly say it was one of the more difficult books in wireless. Ever since then I’ve been studying all the mateirals, pass it now and trandumper I just keep failing them all. Then I have all these responceibilites wether it be for robotics, skills and everything esle. I feel personaly reponcsible for getting the funds for robotics becuase I was put in charge of it last year, it may seem crazy but it’s just how I feel. We’ve got a hell of alot of money to raise and not enough time to do it. I think im starting to take my agression out on Adam but im not sure i can’t control our fights anymore and they happen more often then everbefore and last week we had a really big one and I confided in Jeremy and Marianella and then they started making fun of me and so I stoped talking to them. Jeremy eventually apologised and Marianella swears she did to other people but I’ve never heard it. Oh well it’s her loss, I’m not even mad at her anymore I’m just waiting on the apology to my face. It makes me feel stupid though becuase I want to talk to her but I can’t becuase it would be so aquward. I just don’t know. Julia said she was going to talk to her and tell her to talk to me on thursday at robotics, and its thursday now but im typing this in first period so we’ll see what happends. Yesterday I totaly cracked in first period Mr. Tripp was trying to explain something to mairanella and wanted me to listen (mr. tripp so just said segway i dont know why, but he did) in on the lecture becuase I was having problems with it too. But I wouldnt go over there and MR. Tripp was like MArianella just apologise and she wouldnt then Will decided that he wanted to get into and then i just couldnt take it anymore he was making fun of me and I just started crying then mr.tripp pulled me outside and we talked then he took will and then called me out a few minutes later. Later in the day while we were in wireless me and angela were setting up a new network, theres to many people in our courner anyway but who cares because I really don’t anymore as long as I have my 3 computers I’m a happy camper. But anywho mr.tripp showed up randomly which was nice to see him becuase I think he was checking up on us but I don’t know. I’m just tired of putting up with everyone.

I want to get away.

Far, far away.

Maybe that’s why Clarkson seems so appealing.

Oh, and I’m cold.

I don’t like it.

Stupid A